14: Stewing, licking wounds, and moving forward 

I apologize for this post appearing so late. Along with being on vacation, I also have been trying to move past some personal issues.

Yes, you might have guessed, this relates back to the ex-girlfriend situation.

So, a few days after taking the ex out to lunch to celebrate her new job, I continued trying to be friends with her, considering she had said that she wanted to continue a friendship with me. I had been trying to be friendly and chatty via text message or phone call, however, she was all of a sudden not returning my phone calls or text messages.

On Monday (yesterday), I sent her a couple of text messages and after no response, sent her a third message saying: “So, you’re not talking to me, huh?” Later in the morning, she responds with a text saying: “I can’t get over the fact that you tried to cheat on me. Our trust can’t be rebuilt and therefore there’s no reason for us to try to force a friendship.”

Here’s my argument: Force a friendship? Whoah baby. You’re the one that wanted a friendship in the first place, even if we did break up. I was just following your lead. Second, I didn’t try to cheat at all. I was simply emailing people, but never met up with any of them or traded phone numbers. However, you had to stick your nose where it didn’t belong and you didn’t like what you found. Why be the sneaky insecure bitch who reads my emails behind my back and then holds me accountable when all of my interactions with you show you differently than what any of my emails may have suggested. Email is a very casual form of communication that in the end amounts to nothing if it never ends up being followed up by meeting in person. There is a quote I seem to remember, you might have forgotten it but I haven’t. It goes something like this: “Actions speak louder than words.” Try to remember that with the next sucker you date.

Anyway, here is the text message that I sent back to her. This message is what I would say, the text that sealed the coffin. “Get off your good goody high horse Nancy Drew. If anyone should be pissed off, it should be me, but I’m not. You are the person who lacks the ethical integrity to keep her nose in her own business. I wasn’t going to cheat anyway. And whatever happened to the idea of the past is the past? Do you only use that theory on a whim when it suits your fancy?”

I haven’t heard anything since.

Well, I haven’t been pissed off at her, but I’m astonished that after making such a big deal about us remaining friends, that she would go and pull the rug out from under me without any warning. So, I have been dealing with this in a way similar to some of my old behaviors, I’ve been locking myself in my apartment and moping. I haven’t been doing anything constructive and in essence, letting myself self-destruct. It’s not the right way to deal with it, but I think I needed a few days to just be angry and silent and away from people.

Thankfully, the parents are being helpful and in talking with them, I have been able to lift my spirits some and move past this situation. I have better things to do with my life than be angry about the past. The more I get out and do things and rebuild my personal life, the better off I will be.

Tune in Next time when I write about my vacation from this week. (yes, I switched my post ideas around)

~ Scott